7 years.

 This past weekend my love and I snuck away for a little one night staycation.

 We got a cozy little hotel room downtown on the plaza.

We had dinner sitting on an upper balcony and enjoyed the view

and beautiful weather.

We walked around a bit and window shopped

then stopped in Seasons 52 for dessert.

We slept in - correction, I slept in. Jeff got up at his normal time

and walked to Starbucks.
He thought that was pretty cool. A real city boy I tell ya. ;)

I took this photo as I was giving him a quick crash course on my camera
so I can maybe be in some photos someday. ;)
We had brunch at The Classic Cup Sidewalk Cafe and sat outside.
It's a favorite of mine and its where we went on our 1st anniversary.
When we were walking to the restaurant all the sights, smells and sounds
made me think of our time in Spain. Such sweet memories.
Someday I should blog about them. :)

It was such a nice way to celebrate our 10 years of togetherness and 7 years of marriage.
 ...and then it was back to reality.
Complete with puking child. ;)

kindergarten.

First off, thank you so much to all my sweet friends for the nursing encouragement and advice!

It seems to be going a little better since I've gotten serious about my food and water intake.

And along with Jia's sweet baby rolls, I'm trying to remember that her diapers 

are a good indicator that she's getting enough as well.

Her occasional dissatisfaction and how little I can pump these days stills worries me a bit

but I'm trying to stay positive! :)

 So do you want to see the cutest kindergartner {girl} ever? ;)

No, that's not Jett in a dress.

This is me - first day of kindergarten - 1987. :)

Check out the kid's jams and converse in the background.

Actually, I think that's my brother Chad...he was all over jams back in the day.

Soooo...

Today was the day.

The day I sent my firstborn off to his first day of real school.

Did I cry? Nope.

Did he cry? Nope.

Did he bypass his class all lined up and head into the school on his own, 

without so much as a glance back at us?

Yep.

 He's waited for this day for a long time...

 

 Little brother was trailing him closely.

He put on Jay's backpack today (which spans his whole body)

and said, "bye mom, I going to school! Kiss!" 

 Baby girl was thrilled to be there.

  All lined up, ready to go.

The hardest part was when Jetty had to say goodbye.

He doesn't like being left behind.
Or leaving Jaymin behind.

When I picked Jaymin up he said it was his "best day of school ever". :)

In the pick up line his teacher mouthed "he did great" and gave me a thumbs up.

Sigh.

He's gonna do great.

Next stop, Cupcake A La Mode,

our favorite cupcake joint,

for a little celebrating.

The little girl in front of me bought the last peanut butter chocolate cupcake.

It wasn't a big deal...

Except for the fact that I had been DREAMING about THAT cupcake all. day. long.

But whatever.
I settled for the raspberry lemonade, my second fave.

Jay got after dinner mint.

And then him and Jett screamed and fought the entire time.

So we left. :)

The end.

confessions from a mama.

Today is the start of a new routine for my family.

For the past month we have been between houses,

spending every extra waking moment packing, moving, painting and cleaning.

Last week we finished up our townhouse

and have been enjoying just plain living here at my parents' house.

We're actually really excited to have this "rest" period between

moving out of our townhouse and moving into our new house.

So this morning my little brother (15) went to school (he started last week),

my sister (19) started classes at JCCC, my dad and husband went to work,

and my mom went to get milk.

Jaymin starts kindergarten on Thursday.

So we're getting back to normal bedtimes

and establishing a new routine for the Fall.

Of course it will change again in a month or so once we settle into our new house,

but for now, this is our new normal.

And it feels good.

I almost entitled this post "boobie confessions" for my friend Audrey. :)

I don't write about breastfeeding too often but I do feel very passionate about it

and feel called to write about my current breastfeeding struggles.

Today I'm really frustrated.

And am going to be very candid and real.

I have been blessed with babies that latch right on after birth.

All 3 of mine have nursed within minutes of being born.

And the earlier the better in my opinion.

Jaymin was a good eater but we think he had an underdeveloped valve in his esophagus

(which is common in newborns)

and would projectile vomit almost everything I fed him.

He did fine until he reached 4 months.

He would nurse, spit up and then be hungry again and I wouldn't have new milk yet.

So I had to start supplementing.

I weened him at 7 months.

Jett did great and I never had to supplement with him.

I weened him at 11 months.

I was confusing my cycle with our irregular and infrequent feedings

and had only planned on nursing him to a year anyway.

{The week I weened him was when I got pregnant with Jemma.  Awesome.}

Jia has done great as well.

She turned 6 months last Thursday!!

She's breastfed only and eats every 3 hours.

So here's my confession.

I don't have an abundance of milk.

In fact, I'm really struggling right now to produce enough.

I'm just gonna lay it all out there...

I'm 117 pounds right now people.

About 3 pounds lower than where I like to be

and 8 pounds lower than I wanted to be while nursing.

You need to keep a little extra junk in the trunk to help produce milk

but my body refuses to do that.

I know that I'm really blessed to not have to work too hard to lose my baby weight,

and some of you are probably hating me right now cause I'm actually complaining about it,

but it really is super frustrating when you should be able to sustain your infant's life

and your body is not cooperating.

I work out about 2 times a week

and only do toning exercises - pilates, yoga, etc.

I try to do very little cardio so I don't burn any extra calories.

I love food and love to eat.

I eat as much of and whatever I want really.

I do eat pretty healthy but definitely indulge in {mostly} homemade sweets.

I kind of have to force myself to eat red meat but will do it.

And I try to eat a lot of healthy fats - avacado, raw whole milk

(which is supposed to be super healthy for pregnant and nursing mothers).

And of course, drink plenty of water.

This is an area I definitely fall short in though.

I don't think about drinking water until I'm thirsty

and I've been told, by that point, you're already dehydrated.

But when I nurse I try to make a conscious decision to drink a ton of water

but fall off the wagon often.

But even with all of this, I'm still struggling.

{homemade flourless chocolate cake}

Each time my baby goes through a growth spurt

and is demanding more milk, my body needs a couple of days to catch up.

So far with Jia, I've been doing fine.

But this time around...I don't seem to be catching up with her.

I know stress can contribute to low milk production so I try to stay really calm

when my baby seems unsatisfied, and give myself that time to catch up.

But sometimes I feel like I'm in denial about how low I really am

and just keep thinking and hoping and praying it increases.

I have seriously sat down to feed her before and prayed that there would be enough milk.

Something else that I find so fascinating about all of this,

is that I have some girlfriends that are smaller than I am and make GOBS of milk!

If their bodies don't hold onto extra fat to produce milk,

and yet they always have plenty,

why don't I?

I just don't get it.

But this is where I am.

I don't really like to talk about it too much.

The whole process of nursing has always come easy to me and to my babies

and as I said, I am a huge advocate for breastfeeding.

But the truth is, I have battled this to some degree with each one.

So.

Each Monday it seems, I set out to get serious about my milk production

and view it as an actual job.

Sustaining oneself comes naturally.

Having to worry about sustaining someone else with your body

takes conscious thought.

For me anyway.

So I'm taking my prenatals again (6 a day, yuck)

and fenugreek (6) which is supposed to help increase milk production.

I'm trying to drink as much water as I possibly can.

And eat 3 full meals and 3 snacks.

Even if I'm not hungry

(that part sucks for me - eating and drinking is so much more enjoyable when you're hungry and thirsty).

My stress level should be down, or dropping,

as we have removed a huge burden with the finishing of our townhouse.

I have been pumping right before bed.

Jia goes down around 7:30 or 8 and will sleep until 7:30 or 8 in the morning

so I can pump before I go to bed at 10:30 or 11

and have a full supply for her in the morning (her favorite feeding :) ).

Plus, that's telling my body that I need the milk and to make more

and it gives me milk for the freezer for date nights or days when she seems unsatisfied

(which has been often the past few days :( ).

What else can I do?

I am open to suggestions!

{I made myself breakfast, the meal I like the least.

2 farm eggs with swiss cheese, farmers market peaches, toast from homemade bread

and homemade strawberry jam, raw chocolate milk with ice - cause I'm an old man.

Not too shabby!}

As I said,

Jia just turned 6 months and literally overnight

became interested in everything I was eating and drinking.

SHE WANTS PEOPLE FOOD.

But studies are showing that the longer you hold infants off

before feeding them solid food the better.

Plus, her tongue thrust is still in full swing.

And with my 2-year-old still in diapers

I am in no rush to start her on solids as well.

I will change breastmilk diapers all. day. long.

I guess I just needed to share my heart.

Document this chapter in our lives.

Hold myself accountable to my "job".

And seek advice from other mothers.

Any time I mention anything to my husband about being low

he immediately thinks I need to start supplementing!

I on the other hand probably swing too far the other way,

and will wait too long before deciding its time to supplement. ;)

All I know is, I won't let my baby starve

and I count her chubby rolls daily and for now she still has plenty! :)

I turned 30 and moved in with my parents.

So this is our new house.

Ha! Kidding.

This is just where we're crashing for a bit.

I know, its kind of ghetto but we'll make it.

Its actually really weird to be living back home again.

Kinda like when you go away to college and then move back in after graduation

till you get on your feet.

Only this time I'm bringing my husband and 3 kids with me rather than a diploma.

 You're welcome mom and dad!

I know you love having my family of 5 take over your lives and home.

Seriously though, its a fun little season for us.

And by us I mean me and my kids. ;)

We've been eating like kings here.

My mom buys fresh raw milk and farm fresh eggs every week.
She makes homemade butter and ice cream from the raw milk cream.

She also bakes homemade bread for sandwiches and toast.
...from flour she ground herself...from wheat berries my dad sprouted...
Insanity.
They buy tons of fresh fruits and veggies and high quality meats.
My mom or dad make breakfast everyday.
I seriously wake up to the smell of eggs and bacon sizzling on the stove.
#isthisreal?
We make lunch and dinner together and clean it up together.
It's like we've got a little commune going.

This is Rusty.

And this is his job.

To mope. He's a moper.

He also thinks he's a human.

He'll climb in your bed and lay his head on your pillow.

And he'll ask you with his eyes to pull the covers up to his chin.

He also won't drink tap water.

Only purified.

With ice.

Crushed ice.

You think I'm kidding.

I don't think he likes us living here and that's why he mopes.

Him and Jett have a love/hate relationship.

Jett is doing both the loving and the hating.

Rusty is neutral.

He'll eventually get tired of being ridden, poked, jabbed, and his "pee-pee" pointed out

and then he'll get up and walk away.

That's how he deals with confrontation.

He gets it from my mom.

Just kidding mom. Sorta.

I know you don't read my blog anyway (this is her test).

 I'm going to assume you're as nosy curious as I am

and want to know what it looks like to have 5 people sharing 1 space.

This is the walk-in closet in the guest room/used to be my brother's room/where we're staying.

This closet is nicer than our whole {old} house.

Sometimes I just go in there to hang out.

And organize.

There's enough open space to play a board game on the floor.

We each have a set of plastic drawers

{from our old closets}

and a clothing rack.

{okay, I have two}.

We can easily fit everything we'll need for the next couple of months

in this one closet.

The boys are actually sleeping in my old room

and Jia is in the "study". 

Its a room not really used for anything in a part of the house where nobody really goes

and has glass french doors so we can peak at her while she sleeps.

This is where my kids get to play...

{taken in the spring}

When its not 100+ degrees.

My parents were out to town last weekend so we had the whole house to ourselves.

And garage.

I took full advantage.

I can't wait to have a garage of our own.

No more mad dashes to the house in the rain,

arms full of groceries and babies.

No more frozen solid cars in Kansas' hellish winters.

We're going to be like real grown ups. ;)

 I will share more house info when I have it!

Right now we're wrapping up the very long, drawn out process

of vacating our townhouse.

This townhouse complex is a great place to live

- cheap rent, lots of space, hardwood floors -

but there are TONS of ridiculous hoops to jump through when you move out.

And we're still playing the waiting game for our new house.
I can't wait to share it with you!

blueberry pickin'.

I enrolled Jaymin in Kindergarten today.

That's plain craziness right there.

It also made me realize how quickly the end of summer is approaching.

It always seems to go by so fast.

Earlier this summer my sweet friend took me to the blueberry patch.

I can't believe I've never been!

It's a definite summer tradition from here on out.

Cameron got a little crazy with her chocolate drink on the way there. :)

Still beautiful though.

 The hardest part of the morning was making sure we actually made it home

with at least some blueberries...

 

Sweet girls.

Jia was there too.
She had a blast being stuck in her stroller in the sweltering heat.

Not really.

But at least she looks happy in this photo. ;)